5K

On September 2, Levi and Missy's kindergarten  teacher posted something on Facebook about a 5K to raise money for the city schools' Backpack Program.

(By the way, I've recently decided to just give in and call myself crazy.  I think/do/say so many things that just seem... crazy.  Like, run a 5K.  WHO DOES THAT??)

Anyway...

So when I saw the post about the 5K, I decided I'd run it.

I should say... I'm not a runner.  Never have been.  I've always hated to sweat.  My mom will testify to that.

But, on September 2, this is what was going through my mind:

September is going to be hard.  Because October is going to be hard.  Her birthday is coming up.  What can I 'dive into' to keep me from spiraling hard and fast into the big black hole?

A 5K.  I dove into training for a 5K.

I downloaded a free Couch-to-5K app on my phone.  I started out kinda easy.  But then I felt like I could do more, so I jumped ahead a few days.  I did that more than once.  :-)  Had a short bout with shin splints, but ice, stretches, and strengthening exercises helped.  'Trained' in 4 weeks.

(Do you hear that person talking in those last couple paragraphs??  That's so not me.  Well, not the 'before Elliana' me.  I don't jump ahead in the schedule because I think I can handle more.  I don't DO strengthening exercises and stretches.  This is just so... not the 'old' me.)

Anyway... I think I can accurately say that I have walked/jogged/run at least every other day (sometimes 2 days in a row) since September 3.

And I have loved it.

Running has *almost* taken the place of throwing things.  Not quite.  But there have been at least a few days that I've thought, 'I need to either go for a run or throw something.'  And running seems more productive.  With a lot less mess to clean up.  :-)

There's something about the energy that it takes to run.  I have to concentrate - on relaxing my ankles, relaxing my shoulders, breathing evenly.  I'm not a natural runner, so I actually have to *think* about what I'm doing.  But... maybe that's good for me?  I don't know.  Honestly, it feels like one of those things I should chalk up to my 'crazy' list.  Or at least my 'obsessive compulsive' list.

So, I ran a 5K on Saturday.

And except for the large crowd of people (I avoid crowds at all costs), I really enjoyed it.  :-)

When it was time to gather at the start line, I wasn't sure if I was a 'serious' runner or a 'trying to do well' runner, or just a 'here for the fun' runner.  So I just positioned myself somewhere in the middle front of the group, and hoped I was in the right spot.

As soon as the guy (I have NO idea what his professional title is.  'Go Man'?  'Start the Race' Man?  Whatever.  I'll call him 'Race Man'.) said 'Go', I was ready to GO.  And the people right in front of me were too slow.

That might have been the moment that my competitive side reared its 'ugly' head.  :-)

I ran up the first big hill, through the cemetery (not our cemetery), trying not to think about... well, cemeteries, then I ran through the neighborhood.  A friend, who has a whole lot more running experience that I do, met me part-way through and ran about 2 miles of the 5K with me.  That was kinda fun - having a running partner.  (Thanks, D.)  :-)

Crossing the finish line was pretty cool - seeing my race time, getting hugs from the kids and Jason.  And my friend, B, taking pics.  I have to admit - I really did enjoy it.

A 5K.  I ran a 5K.  In 33 minutes and 28 seconds.  I still can't believe it.

Who is this person?

That might sound like a stupid question - I know it's me.  But it's a very different 'me'.

A 'me' who runs 5K's.  And sweats.  The 'me' who sweats... and likes it.

And has marshmallow-ey Nike's.

The 'me' who couldn't stop baking last December, but who hasn't baked anything (other than the household standby, chocolate chip cookies) since December.

'Me' - who loves to go shopping.  Particularly at Charming Charlie's.  For purses and jewelry.

Who is this girl?

This girl who throws beer bottles at brick walls.  Or takes a fire poker to a box of wine bottles when throwing them isn't a feasible option.

The 'me' who doesn't really watch TV anymore.  Who thinks that most of it is stupid anyway, and who'd rather watch re-runs of anything comical and free of dead bodies.

'Me' - who has not a single child in diapers at home anymore.  Nor a single piece of baby paraphernalia set up in the house.

This person who can't walk through the front doors of MPC, because the memories are too... painful?  That doesn't feel like a strong enough word.

This person who cleans a piece of stone at a nearby cemetery with Murphy's Oil Soap.  And who sits for an hour or two making new flower arrangements.

This girl who used to direct a choir, but now feels like it's a foreign concept.

'Me'.  The one who carried a little Lindegirl for 31 weeks, 5 days.  Who was changed forever because of that Lindegirl's life.  And death.


I ran a 5K.  I'm 37 years old, and I ran my first 5K on Saturday.

And I can't wait to run another.