Diary for My LIttle Girl

The aching hurt so much more today.  It's been sort of a dull ache the past several weeks - probably since the week we went to the beach.  But today - this morning - her absence felt so much heavier.  The ache, so much sharper.

Football season has begun.  Jason was convinced that Elliana 'liked' football.  It was their thing.  :-)

I wish I'd been able to bring her home.  Rock her to sleep.  Hold her in one arm and do dishes with the other.  Change her diapers.  Give her a bath.  Watch her kick her feet.  Hold her in my lap during a meal and try to keep grabby little hands away from my plate.  Kiss her sweet cheeks.

I wish I knew what she would have looked like at 11 months old.  

I've been putting it off, but I *will* do it tomorrow.  There will be new flowers at the garden tomorrow.  And a clean stone.