I'm having one of my hard mornings. I feel awful, and tears are just coming way too easily.
Warning: full-fledged pity party ahead.
I've been sick for 3 days now. The only time I get sick (like, feel-so-bad-you-can't-function sick) is when I'm pregnant. Which, at this point, just feels like God is adding insult to injury. Fever, cough, and now (as a result of the AWFUL cough) sore throat, sore chest/tummy/and even back muscles, and not very much voice (which means I can't raise my voice at the kids). Jason HAD to go back to work today. He took off last Thursday and yesterday, both days to take care of me (and the kids). But we'll need vacation hours later in the year, when Elliana is born. So... he had to go back to work today. I was hoping that once I got up and moving I'd feel better. Not the case.
Antibiotic, please start working soon. Like, now.
And the tears. Elliana is always on my mind. Watching her on the ultrasound screen yesterday (echocardiogram was yesterday, more about that later) was so bittersweet. At one point, the ultrasound tech and doctor were trying to look at a specific part of her heart - they were looking at her heart from the back of her. The angle enabled me to see her right shoulder, and the right sides of her neck and head. I could tell when she was moving her arm because of the way her shoulder moved, and I could watch her head bobble around a little bit. It was so sweet. So normal.
She moves. She sucks her thumb. She kicks. She responds to me (or a somewhat aggressive ultrasound tech) pushing on my tummy. It's purposeful.
This is one of those mornings that I feel like this can't really be happening, and God is just out to make my life miserable.
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