Short story now - longer version may follow later.
With some concern about frequent dips in Elliana's heartrate, my doctors recommendation was to go ahead and deliver her.
She was born by c-section at 10:56pm last night. She tried to breath on her own for a short while. Once she stopped breathing, her heart continued to beat for a while.
She went on into the arms of Jesus about 2:15 this morning. And all I can say right now is... I miss her so terribly. My baby girl, my sweet Elliana - I miss her so much. This feels impossible.
My heart is breaking for you. I'm praying that you will feel the super closeness of Jesus right now in this sad hour.
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful name and the pictures of her are absolutely priceless. Praying for you and your family Shannon.
ReplyDeleteno words...may the God of all comfort be big right now.
ReplyDeleteI have been following your blog now since Ashley posted a link. My heart is breaking for you. I don't know what words to say but I want you to know that I have been praying for you, Elliana, and your family. She is beautiful and I am glad that you got to spend sometime with her before she left this world. Reading back on your posts I just want you to know that your such an inspiration. Your faith has been tested over and over again and you never lost hope in Him. I will continue to pray for you and your family.
ReplyDelete2 Timothy 4:7 I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.
I greatly admire your unfaltering courage and your undying faith. What a tremendous gift you had for those few precious hours! May you find comfort in those memories. Peace to you, Shannon, and to your wonderful family.
ReplyDeleteShannon,
ReplyDeleteMy heart broke for you when I read this and tears streamed down my face as I looked at the pictures of Elliana. It brought back all the pain of losing Matthew for me and it feels so unfair. Why did this happen? Why did you lose your daughter, why did I lose my son? God could've saved them, why didn't He? I wish I knew. I believe with all my heart that God has a plan and that He walks us thru these moments of unbearable heartache, but I wish, oh how I wish, that we could be spared this pain!
I know you're going to hear over and over again how it's better for Elliana, how she's now happy and healthy in heaven, and at times you'll probably feel like screaming, "But it's not better for me! I want her here!" All I can say is that one day you will be able to be thankful that she was spared a life full of struggle, but in the meantime, just cling to Jesus. Scream and yell and plead and cry out to Him. In the moments when you think that you'll go crazy with grief, let the hope of heaven calm your heart and give you peace. When you think that you can't handle another moment without your baby girl, remember that God has promised you a perfect eternity with Elliana, one that will make all your tears be forgotten. It seems impossible but just keep telling it to yourself. There were so may days when I didn't really feel it or believe it, but I just kept praying, "God, I need your peace. I need your peace. I need your peace!"
I'm praying for you daily! Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. God will walk you thru this valley of the shadow of death.
Much love, Julia
Oh, look at her hair! Her fingers! So perfect.
ReplyDeleteWelcome to the world Elliana. I wish you could've stayed.
Your little Elliana is so so beautiful. I'm reading babylost blogs like yours because my little baby boy has died too. Thinking of Elliana and wishing with you that she was here with her little brothers and sister.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry about your baby boy, and I'm so sorry he's not here with you. I know it helps to know that others are hurting, too - I just wish none of us were hurting at all. Thank you for commenting - for connecting with me. I'd love to hear more about *you*. :-)
DeleteSo sorry , she's beautiful .... Lost my princess at 31 weeks so feel your pain xx
ReplyDelete