A Letter to Strangers

To the People I've Met Recently,

I don't have 4 children.  

I have *5*.

Well, actually, I have nine.  Ten, if you count my foster baby.  And I do count him.  :-)  But that gets really complicated.  

But out loud, when you (a stranger or new acquaintance) ask, 'How many children do you have?', I answer '4'.  And my heart is breaking as the words come out of my mouth.

But I can't say '5'.  You, a stranger, aren't asking me how many living and dead children I have.  Divulging that much information can put someone in a really awkward position.  Really awkward.  And I don't like to make people feel awkward.

But I need to make it right.  Somehow.  Virtually.  

This is what's true:

There isn't *just one girl amongst all those boys*.  

I do have my hands full with these four, but if I had my way, my hands would be even fuller.

There's another Lindegren whose earthly home isn't under my roof, but beneath a stone, and whose eternal home is already occupied.

I have another baby, a 'youngest', and almost a year ago she changed my life forever.

There might be four kids at the pool with me, but a huge piece of my heart is with the 'youngest' - the one who's not at the pool with me.

I may smile at you when I tell you about my four, but I wish more than anything that I could tell you about my 5th.  And show you a picture.

I still love to show people Elliana's picture.  I know I post pictures here on my blog and occasionally on Facebook.  So a lot of people have already seen her.  BUT... showing the pictures isn't about YOU seeing the pictures.  It's about me (as selfish as that sounds) - a mom who loves her baby girl and just likes to show off her picture and talk about her.

I do believe that another beer bottle (or 50) may get broken in the near future.  Shoulda taken the opportunity I had over the weekend.