For the first time in almost 6 years, there is no crib set up in my house.
Seth (2 years and 8 months) graduated to a toddler bed tonight.
When I talk about him, I can't call him 'my youngest'. Because he's not my youngest. There's another who's younger than him.
But here, on this earth, he's the youngest one I have with me. And I know I spoil him. I still lay down with him at nap time - he falls asleep, snuggled up next to me. He loves to be carried around on my hip, and I indulge him (and he's little enough that I can still do it fairly easily). One of us (usually Jason) sits in his bedroom while he falls asleep at night, because it brings him (and me) comfort.
I don't have my Elliana here at home to hold and snuggle, so I guess I have held and snuggled Seth a bit more than I should.
But I figure it's ok. For now. It's ok.
The crib is gone.
Her absence feels so very big tonight, and it just hurts.
Hugs xx
ReplyDeleteThanks - and hugs back at you. :-)
DeleteI don't think you need to worry so much about "shoulds." I mean, any of us, about holding and snuggling the littles. Don't fret over it. He lets you snuggle him, and give him an extra hug from Aunt Hayley. (All of them can have extra hugs from Aunt Hayley!)
ReplyDeleteAnd, she's my "youngest" niece. I tell people that Rebekah has 2 cousins her age on my side of the family. Because she does.
Thanks, Hayley. You're right - I shouldn't worry so much about what we should and shouldn't be doing.
DeleteYou have no idea how much it helps me (or maybe you do) to know that you talk about her. Even if you're not really talking - like divulging all the details - you're including her in the cousins. And that helps. :-)
Shannon,
ReplyDeleteJust wanted to let you know that even though it's been a little while since I've been on here reading your posts, I have been thinking and praying for you often. I just read of the nurse? who contacted you by letter to tell you how Elliana's life/your blog had impacted her and I was crying (as I have been on many other posts). She is still changing lives. And you are still her wonderful Mama. Much love.
Thanks, Laura. It helps to know you're 'there'. And it helps to know that her story is moving, and that it's changing lives. She matters so much to *me*. I want her to matter to others, too. :-)
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